helping people be independent

Excellent advice from Carolyn Hax:

A goal to keep in mind: Don’t occupy a space in his life that couldn’t easily be filled in your absence. That can apply to anything from renting a place together that he can’t afford alone, to being his only ride to a job or only good friend. Model independence by giving advice only when asked, encouraging counseling (while he can use college resources) and saving heroic intervention for emergencies. When in doubt, treat him as an equal.